THIS FEELING CALLED LOVE

On a cool eve with leaves rustling about the tune of the wind, Sandra sat sobbing bitterly because her heart has been broken for the third time, and doesn't know what else to do. Her best friend Chioma met her and was desperate to know the cause of her tears. However, Sandra was too unsettled to discuss things with her at the moment and Chioma, having much time to spare her friend, decided to wait and kept on questioning her concerning her plight. Sandra eventually spoke up, and said, “Chioma I am tired; I feel like the world is turning itself on me. Just take a look at me; just look at me: three different men I loved and felt they loved me also are gone – they left me. I haven't settled with a man for a whole year and believe he is Mr Right. Chioma understanding the situation, felt sorry for her. She said, “one thing we both don't try to understand is that relationships are of different levels; that is why before a lady goes into a relationship I advice her to analyze the use of the “Ws-H” of a relationship together with her partner, which are: WHY are you going into a relationship? WHAT type of relationship are you going into? WHERE is the relationship ending to? WHO are you going into this relationship to? and HOW can you make this relationship work? Sandra was surprised at the words of wisdom she was listening to. She thus, curiosly asked Chioma, “after this what then?” Chioma accordingly replied, “you will realize after this, that there are more to relationships which can be shared, understood and appreciated between two matured minds”. “Wow! But how do you get to know all this and make it work?” “There are two different words we need to understand their meaning and strong connotation; these are “LUST” and “LOVE”. It is one thing to fall in lust with a person and another thing to fall in love with a person. “How do I get to differentiate this two?”, Said Sandra. “My dear, love is when there is a strong feeling you have towards a person, that feeling is not driven by an intimate sexual desire but by what love itself is; it comes with respect, agreement, future enhancement and understanding towards this person. Lust is a total opposite of love, and is characteristically driven by sexual desire, beauty, physical appearance and like features. Sandra feeling she could gain more new things concerning love and relationship asked Chioma everything she knew about it. Chioma smiled and said, “love is something I do not fully understand to be honest. We all will not experience love at first; maybe we all might experience heart break at a point in time. But if there is one thing other partners leaving their relationship despite the love, respect, understanding and agreement shared between the both of them is that: life is unpredictable, we have to cherish every single moment. In the words of Alfred Tennyson “it's better to have loved and lust, than never to have loved at all” “Wow!”, said Sandra. Chioma continued… “also we all tend to believe that the marriages and relationships of the past days tend to last and function properly than today, but what we don't understand is that, then, most of the females might have had no choice than to get married to who was brought to them and with total submission. However, we all know, yes, these days ladies might be materialistic and that is why they force themselves on relationship, but what we should know is that relationships and marriages are not like those days, because their major ingredients are not there. Such as respects, submission, understanding, agreement and unity which are all imbedded in love”. “Nice one Chioma; these are all words of wisdom and survivals. Thank you so much. I have gained a lot and also a bit relieved. I think I should know, understand and try more of this, for my own betterment”. Nwachukwu Sandra Chioma